The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
You can’t find your other earring because your son is wearing it.
You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
Rainstorms or thunder are the lead story for the local news.
The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.
Even your pet has its own psychiatrist.
You were born somewhere else.
More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers.
You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
